My firstborn came during the height of the covid pandemic. At my very first appointment, my OB saw a small subchorionic hematoma on my ultrasound. She told me not to Google it because it would scare me, and then said to just enjoy being pregnant now because when I came back next week, I might not be. As a 25 year old first time mom, this was obviously extremely upsetting and caused so much anxiety.
When I went back the following week, there was no mention of the hematoma at all. When I eagerly asked for an explanation, my OB simply shrugged it off and said it probably cleared up on its own. From then on, there was even more fear-based language used at appointments, and many potential problems were presented that never came to be. At 20 weeks, my son was estimated to be in the bottom 10th percentile for weight, and I was told that he had intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) even though we did lots of additional testing and all results were completely normal. Starting at 36 weeks, I was pressured at each appointment by my OB and the staff to stay and give birth solely because of my baby’s size despite that he was healthy. All the test results and my intuition kept telling me that he was safe, that he was just a small baby, and that he needed more time to grow safely, rather than risk taking him out early before he was ready and risk a NICU stay.
At 38 weeks, my OB told me that if I didn’t give birth that day, it wouldn’t be her fault if my baby died, and that neither she nor the hospital would be liable if I walked out and something bad happened. I left in tears and called my husband, who was not allowed in due to covid, and we decided to listen to her, even though everything in me was telling me not to. On top of that, I was told I had to have a c-section because my baby was breech. There were no alternatives presented. At the time, I knew nothing about out-of-hospital birth or that vaginal breech birth was even possible. Had I had known then what I know now, I definitely would have opted for a home birth with my current midwife who is trained in breech delivery.
My cesarean ended in a 4-day hospital stay, out of which I slept for a total of literally zero hours. The nurses were concerned that I had not slept at all, so they put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door, but it was repeatedly ignored, and any chance I ever had to sleep was lost. I remember shortly after surgery, a nurse frantically burst into my room with a breast pump and told me I had to pump every 2 hours, on top of already breastfeeding every 2 hours. I remember pumping through tears with a mask on my face (I was required to wear one during the c-section and the whole hospital stay!) while wishing I could just care for my newborn without all of this fear-mongering. My son was born completely healthy, more than a whole pound over what the ultrasounds were predicting, yet medical staff showed so much fear and uncertainty despite how great my baby was doing. He was even back to his birth weight by the end of the hospital stay. By the time I was discharged, I was severely sleep deprived, very anxious, and felt like all my power had been stripped away in the birthing process.
When I got pregnant with my second child, I knew I wanted a much different experience. I was determined to have a VBAC and armed myself with as much information as possible. In this process, I became fascinated with physiologic, intervention-free, unmedicated home water birth. I knew that would be the right decision for me and that I could do it. I found an amazing group of local midwives who taught Hypnobirthing. My husband and I attended a 6-week course together and afterwards, I knew I had found my dream birth team. I could not imagine birthing anywhere other than in the comfort of my own home, with my husband by my side, and my wonderful midwife, who shared my philosophy about physiologic labor and birth, and who did not look at me differently because of my previous cesarean.
One unique thing about my story is that I went to almost 43 weeks before going into natural labor. I had NSTs and BPPs done starting at 42 weeks, and since everything was normal, we opted to wait for spontaneous labor. I’m so grateful that I was in the care of my midwife, because had I been with my old OB, I most likely would have ended up with an unwanted induction or a repeat cesarean much earlier.
I went into natural labor in the middle of the night at 42 weeks + 5 days pregnant. I was so, so happy to be in labor. Yes, it was hard work, but I truly enjoyed the experience and thought it was the coolest, most empowering thing in the world. I remember thanking God through each surge, knowing the amazing work it was doing from within to bring my baby into the world. I drew strength from the miraculous medal around my neck, which my mom had taken to Mass a few weeks prior and asked the priest to bless. I was able to eat, drink, and labor freely in my home without any limiting policies, IVs, or monitors. I loved the freedom and autonomy, and this helped my labor to progress smoothly without any complications.
I had gotten a few comfort measures together ahead of time, such as a TENS machine and a heating pad, but I ended up not needing them at all, and completely forgot I even had them. What helped me the most was swaying through the surges, listening to my affirmations on the Made for This Birth app, laboring in my dim-lit bedroom covered in twinkle lights, and having my husband by my side through each wave. I couldn’t have done it without him. It felt so good to know that he truly believed in my ability to do this.
I felt very in control throughout labor, focusing on my breathing and relaxing between surges. I remember feeling shaky and vomiting at one point, and I told my midwife I thought I was in transition. She smiled and said that I looked too happy between contractions to be in transition yet, but when she checked me, she saw that I was, and we began filling the birth pool! I remember telling my husband at that point that I was ready to go further, that I could take even more intensity.
Sitting in the birth pool fully dilated, I thought to myself, what a difference this is from my last hospital birth, and from how birth is portrayed in movies! There was no panic, no medical jargon, no being told how to labor, what position to get in, or when to push. There was just peace, calm, and readiness to welcome all the sensations of birth. I tuned into my instincts and found that my body just knew exactly what it needed to do. I wish more people knew that birth could be this way, and that when left undisturbed, it doesn’t have to be medicalized. This was safe, normal, and wonderful!
The warm water made my body feel weightless, and the surges became even stronger as my baby began to crown. It was amazing to experience the fetal ejection reflex. My body was just pushing for me and I couldn’t help but surrender to it. I remember my husband leaning in during the most powerful waves, and gently whispering, “You’re doing it. You’re getting your home birth. I love you.” It was a dreamy scene. A few more surges and he was here. My bag of waters didn’t release until the moment he emerged, and he came out with the sac still covering his face! I eagerly scooped him out of the water and to my chest.
I appreciated my midwife’s hands-off approach. She stood back while my son acclimated to the world and took his first breath. No unwanted interventions or attempts at making him cry immediately. Just me, my husband and our new little one meeting each other for the first time.
I birthed my placenta on my own and had full delayed cord clamping. I got to examine and preserve my beautiful 42 week + 5 day placenta, which was perfectly intact and healthy, contrary to the common fallacy that claims the placenta starts deteriorating or "dying" after 40 weeks.
Some things that helped facilitate a joyful, smooth labor and birth were daily prenatal exercise, lots of squats, reading many books on physiological birth, watching documentaries such as The Business of Being Born, taking Hypnobirthing classes, nightly meditation and visualization exercises, and listening to the Made for This Birth app. Some of my favorite tracks were the Litany to Mothers and the Saint Encouragement. Also, having a support person who shares your philosophy about birth is crucial. My husband spent countless hours researching and preparing with me, taking classes, reading, and praying together. He believed in me 100% and trusted me to birth our baby.
My home water VBAC was the most dreamy, empowering, and transformative experience. The difference in how it has affected me postpartum has been night and day compared to my hospital birth. I fully believe that finding a provider that encouraged me to birth intuitively made all the difference. Having this support sets women up for success when we take on the hardest and most rewarding job in the world - motherhood. There are profound gifts to be enjoyed when nature and the design of God is respected and the sacredness of birth is recognized.
By sharing positive birth stories, we can begin to shift the narrative that says birth is unsafe, painful, or that intervention is the default. Unfortunately, it can take decades for hospitals to update regulations with current evidence. A few examples are no eating and drinking in labor, routine cervical checks, and the use of continuous fetal monitoring, which has been proven to increase the rates of cesarean sections and forcep or vacuum vaginal births. I wanted to birth in a safe place where I didn’t have to put my energy towards advocating for myself or fending off outdated policies. For me, that was choosing a HBAC (home birth after cesarean.) I hope all women find the courage to be intentional decision makers during pregnancy, and that they feel empowered and unafraid to reclaim their heritage as women and mothers, our bodies incredibly designed by God to birth.
Julia is a Catholic wife and stay at home mom. She and her husband Bryce have two sons and live in Spring, TX.
Photography from Sky Light Photography.