After my first birth, I knew I wanted the second birth to be different. I was induced at 40 weeks
with my first, because a 3rd trimester ultrasound labeled my baby “big”. The night before my induction I was dreading it. My plan was to go unmedicated, but I had done little to no preparation. I ended up in labor for 21 hours, getting an epidural for the last six hours, and a forceps delivery that left me with a third degree tear. We had avoided a C-section and for that I was thankful, but I knew there had to be more to birth, and I knew that the next birth had to be different.
My theme for this pregnancy was trust from the very beginning. I asked God to use this pregnancy to grow my trust in Him, and in His design for birth. Right before this pregnancy, we experienced a miscarriage, and I was nervous from the start. I also began to get nervous at the end of my pregnancy, when I was approaching 42 weeks and thinking about having to change birth plans. There was so much that I wanted control over that I had to surrender, and when I did, God gave abundantly. I also learned that this surrender is a huge part of birth, and aids in the body being able to open up and do what it needs to do.
My trust in God’s design grew throughout my pregnancy the more that I learned about physiological birth. I had to allow God to change my mindset completely. I listened to and read many birth stories on Made for This Birth and the Happy Homebirth podcast. I used the recorded meditations on the Made for This Birth app, and I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and several other books. This really helped me to see that birth will happen undisturbed, and that there are many different variations of normal that all end in the birth of a baby if we simply trust our bodies.
The morning of Monday, May 27th, 2024, I woke up at 6:45 a.m. to a contraction. Every morning
for the past week or so, this had been happening, so I didn’t think much of it. Our daughter Emilia was still sleeping, so I continued to lay in the same position in bed. Ten minutes later, I felt another contraction. I told my husband, Aidan, and we decided I should just stay in bed in the same position to see if they would keep coming or not. So, for an entire hour, I lay in bed and they came consistently every 10 minutes. I decided to get out of bed for breakfast, and they were still coming every 10 minutes. I let my doula, Christin, know, and she said to keep her posted.
At around 8:30 I got in the shower, and after my shower, they stopped. I figured this would be just like any other day. I was 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant. It was Memorial Day, so my husband didn’t have to go into work like usual. We decided to have a slow morning around the house, and then I told him I’d like to go get some flowers to plant around our statue of Mary in the backyard. Around 11:15, we took a trip to Menard's to go flower shopping. My doula called as we arrived at Menard's and I told her that things had been stopped for a while. She told me not to get discouraged, and that my body was working. She said she wouldn’t be surprised if I called her back tonight in labor! I took my time browsing, picked out some flowers, and also bought a giant fiddle leaf fig tree I had been wanting for our bedroom. We came home around noon to have lunch.
Around the end of lunchtime, 1:30, I felt another contraction. We cleaned up the inside of the house and then made our way outside to begin planting. Aidan filled up the kiddie pool for Emilia to play outside in while we planted the flowers. I noticed that the contractions were still happening. They were nothing intense at this point, the same thing I’d been feeling on and off for the past week and half, so I didn’t think too much of it. Each time I felt one, I would get up from planting flowers and peek inside the kitchen to see the clock. They were staying about 10-15 minutes apart.
Once we were done outside, Aidan decided to take Emilia on a drive, our new method of getting
her to take a nap. I decided since the contractions were still 10-15 minutes apart, I should get some rest in case labor was coming soon. I was timing the contractions on an app at this point. I texted my doula to let her know that I was having regular contractions for the past hour and a half, and she asked if she should head over. I told her that we were trying to get a nap in, and that I would update her afterwards if things had picked up.
I laid down after Aidan and Emilia left to watch Call the Midwife, one of my favorite shows. I
continued to use my app to keep track of things. About 30 minutes into the episode, the contractions got closer together, about 6-7 minutes apart. I decided to stop watching and give my own midwife a call, just in case. I called her, and she asked if I wanted her to head over. I was a bit caught off guard, thinking this couldn’t be happening anytime soon, but I deferred to her judgment on this one, and I’m sure glad I did. She said she would get her things around and head over. This was around 3:45 p.m. I called my doula back right after I got off the phone with the midwife to update her on what was happening. She said she would finish her dinner and head over as well.
Once Aidan and Emilia got back, he laid Emilia down to sleep. I told him everyone was coming, and even though I thought it was early, I asked him to go ahead and blow up the birth pool. I said we could always leave it up for the next couple days if it wasn’t really labor! He continued to get things ready as I labored downstairs. He put the mattress protector on the bed, and got the birth box out. The contractions were still about 6-7 minutes apart, but getting a little bit more intense. I began to breathe through them, although I could still talk through them.
Around 4:30, Eileen, our midwife, arrived. She set up all her stuff and got the liner in the birth pool for us. Emilia had just woken up from her nap, and I told Aidan to go ahead and give our friend Kate a call, who was going to watch Emilia during labor. Kate got to the house around 4:50. Aidan took Emilia outside to meet Kate, and it was then I had my first intense contraction. I was on the couch and leaned over the side of it, really having to breathe through and relax. Once Aidan came back inside, I asked him to go get a metal bowl because I was feeling nauseous. After the next contraction, I threw up into the bowl while still leaning over the couch. I wanted to go back upstairs and try to lay down because I couldn’t get comfortable downstairs on our couch.
I climbed into bed on all fours, trying to lean over some pillows to let my body rest. I was trying
very hard to keep a relaxed face and jaw and to open up my hands during contractions. After the second contraction upstairs, I leaned back onto my knees and felt a trickle of water. I went to the bathroom and my water had broken.
I went through the next few contractions on the toilet and decided that was not for me, and went back to the bed. This is when I asked Aidan for counterpressure. It really helped during this phase. After the first contraction he helped me with, he said, “Way to keep your hands open!” This really gave me so much confidence and trust in him that he really had been studying physiological birth and was ready to support me throughout this process. It was encouraging that he noticed this detail and effort of mine!
After spending some time upstairs, I asked if we could start filling the tub. I was very excited to get in the water, and had mentally been preparing myself to save it for the end of labor. I didn’t want it to slow things down, and I wanted to save the blessed relief of the warm water until I was on the verge of giving up. I did not feel like that yet at this point.
Once the tub was full, I went downstairs. However, after checking the temperature of the water, it was at 109 degrees, meaning it was too hot to get in. This was a bit annoying, but I was grateful that our water was too hot instead of too cold!
I went through a few contractions around the tub downstairs, and they were tough. I asked my
husband to turn on the birth playlist I had made. I really just wanted to get in the water, but it was still cooling off. All I would ask in between contractions was “is the water ready?” Finally, I got the answer “yes.”
I got in the tub around 7:15 p.m. Immediately, I felt so much relief. I decided to lean back against the side of the tub. The contractions were getting more and more intense, and I was having to moan through them. I preferred light touch at this point, and I tried to make light noises instead of loud moans in order to remind myself to relax. I tried to keep my hands relaxed as much as I could and let them just float in the water. This became harder and harder to do, and I resorted to reaching back and grabbing on to Aidan during contractions. I started to get really warm since the water was so hot, and asked for a cold towel for my forehead. I also wanted to prop my legs up on the side of the tub during contractions to cool down a bit.
Although the contractions were very intense at this point and I felt I had to completely surrender
to them, the rest in between was so replenishing. Being weightless in the water, allowing my hands and face to relax, feeling the cool water on the washcloth on my head, being fanned by my midwife’s assistant, hearing the piano music in the background without talking or extra noise really gave me the strength to go on to the next contraction. These were the moments of gratitude and prayer, the moments that I drew strength from. I noticed my midwife had put on her gloves, and I was very surprised by this. I thought there was no way that she was going to need them anytime soon. But I knew how experienced she was, and I realized she must have known that I was getting close. This also gave me a lot of strength. I didn’t need her to check me to see where I was at, I just needed these silent signs of encouragement that she believed in my
body, and that I could, too.
Around 7:50, I first felt the urge to push. This gave me a lot of mental relief. Having gone this
entire pregnancy and birth so far without any vaginal exams or checks, I had no marker of what was happening besides listening to my body and relying on what I was feeling to give me information. This was my body giving me confirmation that we were almost through, and that everything that was supposed to be happening was happening. My first few pushes were leaning back against the side of the tub, and the sensation scared me at first. It wasn’t painful, just very intense. I didn’t doubt my ability to do it at any point, but I was starting to fear experiencing it. In between contractions, I prayed and asked for the fetal ejection reflex so that I wouldn’t have to mentally decide to push! During the third or fourth push, I could feel her head moving down and things stretching out. I asked Eileen what she was seeing, and she said “a lot of bulging!”
She asked if I wanted to change positions because I was getting warm. I said yes, that I would like to try leaning over the side of the tub. I moved in between contractions, and immediately the pressure from being upright was super intense. I said I didn’t like this position, but another contraction was coming on, and she encouraged me to get through at least this one while leaning over the tub. I knew I could do at least one in this position, and as it came, I had what felt like my first big push. I could really feel her descending now, and I was stretching out big-time. Her head was almost crowning and stayed down for a few seconds after the contraction, but then slid back up. This was discouraging, and I said something about her head going back up, but Eileen and Kelly only encouraged me that it's completely normal for the baby's head to
slide back up, and reassured me that this would make the next push super productive.
The next contraction came, and she quickly moved down to where she was last time, but continued to stretch me more and more. Eileen and Kelly encouraged me to relax and push gently since her head was about to crown. It took a lot of mental energy to simultaneously listen to my body and try to control my pushing. I was gripping my husband very tightly at this point, and being very loud. I don’t remember feeling the ring of fire at one particular point, just a lot of stretching. Soon, it was announced that her head was born. Once I heard this, I had mentally crossed the finish line. I knew I could finish this strong.
A few seconds later, the next contraction came, and the rest of her body was born at 8:07 p.m. The relief was immediate, and I mentally re-entered reality. Eileen gently told me “pick up your baby,” and I reached down to pull her up out of the water. She was quite slippery!
Once I had her, I leaned back against the side of the tub and began to rub her back. About five seconds later, she let out a loud cry, which made us all smile. Eileen encouraged me to talk to my baby. In the little bit of daylight that was left, I looked down at her surprisingly vernix-free head, and thought to myself, “her hair looks kinda red!”
After a few minutes of sitting in the tub and a successful first latch, I asked my husband to call our friend, Kate, to bring Emilia home. I was brought a glass of strawberry switchel that I had made to replenish my electrolytes.
I decided to get out of the tub because it was still so warm, and deliver the placenta on the couch. I couldn’t believe how great and energized I felt this soon after birth. I got out while holding her, placenta still inside me. They helped me get situated on the couch, Lucy began nursing, and about 10 minutes later, the placenta was born.
Right as I birthed it, Kate pulled into the driveway with Emilia. Emilia walked in and first met her sister on our couch, about 20 minutes after she was born. She was in love at first sight. After their meeting, I needed to be examined for any tearing, so we passed Lucy to Aidan. After lifting up the towel covering her, it was revealed that she was having her first bowel movement on my belly, and then on her dad’s chest as she was being moved! We had a good laugh, she peed on Aidan, and we got cleaned up. I had a small tear, but no stitches were required.
We moved upstairs to get situated in bed. Aidan put some beef stew in a pot to heat up. The
midwives helped me go to the bathroom and get dressed, and then helped me into bed to feed Lucy. After she nursed, we did a newborn exam. Emilia was all over the place moving equipment and jumping on and off the bed.
We were all shocked when Aidan picked Lucy up in the scale to learn that she was heavier than her sister was at birth by a whole eight ounces! I was in shock that I had just given birth to a 9 lbs. 12 oz. baby at home unmedicated with no stitches required after being induced for a “big” baby and experiencing a third degree tear the first time around.
After this, Aidan went to get my stew. The pot was no longer on the stove. The midwife’s assistant Kelly had already dished it up for us and was looking for spoons to bring to us. It’s little details like this that make homebirth so wonderful! Meanwhile, I got some alone time with Lucy in our bed while the midwives cleaned up the house. It was so beautiful to simply be cared for by these women. The only “protocol” was what me and my baby needed at each moment. Once everyone left, we were struggling to get Emilia to sleep after a long but exciting evening. Her Godmother Trini came over to take her on a drive while we settled down and called family to announce Lucy’s birth. Emilia came home asleep soon after, and we were all tucked in bed. It only seemed appropriate to end the day by praying the Te Deum, ending with the line, “O Lord, in Thee have I trusted: let me never be confounded.”
This experience has changed not only my outlook on birth and that it is something so sacred that deserves to be reverenced, but also my outlook on motherhood. The confidence from my birth has spilled into my motherhood, and I feel like I can lean into my natural maternal tendencies more so than I could after my first baby. It does make me grieve what I missed with my first, and it sets me on fire to share what birth can be like with other moms so that they don’t have to miss out on everything it is meant to be, or aren’t sold a lie by society about the beauty of birth and motherhood. I honestly can’t wait until my next birth, God willing!
Megan lives in Kansas with her husband, Aidan, and two daughters Emilia and Lucy. She is a stay at home mom and church musician. She is passionate about food and loves to experiment in the kitchen while feeding family and friends. You can find her on Instagram here.