Recognizing the dignity of every human being from the moment of conception means that we also recognize that the death of a person at any age or stage is something to be grieved - whether that person be days, weeks, months, or many years old. No matter the size, age, or whether they ever got to take their first breath, they are just as valuable as any other human person. We are grateful there are a growing number of voices and resources from the Church joining ours to support those enduring the pain of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. We're also grateful for a growing awareness even in the secular world of the real pain and grief of miscarriage and stillbirth.
We wanted to gather in one convenient place the resources we know and trust to help navigate loss from a Catholic perspective so that it can be easily found and shared when needed. This list is not exhaustive but includes many of the resources we've found most helpful to share with others who are enduring miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. If you are reading this because you are navigating the loss of your baby, we are so very sorry. Please know that you are not alone and that there are many who desire to support and love you through this pain.
(Resources will be added as we learn of more.)
Practical Support:
A Good Doula or Midwife: Having a good doula or midwife or even just a wise friend already in your pocket who is compassionate and familiar with loss support can be a gift from God during the tragedy of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. Having a guide of sorts to help you in person to navigate your specific situation and who may be more familiar with your options and the process than you are is priceless. A good doula or midwife can walk with you through what to expect, talk through all your options and hopefully offer to be with you through the process itself, praying with you and loving you and your baby through it. This might be a good question to ask when interviewing doulas or providers. How do they support a woman if a loss occurs? What does that look like? If you haven't yet secured a good midwife or doula and you are experiencing a loss, you can still possibly contact local doulas to see if they offer any type of bereavement support.
Red Bird Ministries: Non-Profit Catholic grief support ministry offering a huge variety of resources and support for individuals and couples who have experienced the loss of a child from pregnancy through adulthood. They offer a comprehensive guide to caring for your body, mind, and spirit before, during, and after pregnancy and infant loss including navigating the process and burial options. They also offer spiritual direction, resources for clergy, local support chapters, and so much more.
Catholic Miscarriage Support: Practical and spiritual support for Catholics who have lost a child to miscarriage
We Carry You Still: Miscarriage and infant loss ministry offering education on the process, options for burial, memory boxes, printable resources, and more to anyone suffering loss and adhering to Orthodox and Catholic tradition
Catholic Miscarriage: A Quick, Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss
Lost Innocents: Practical help for miscarriage from an Orthodox Christian perspective
A Mom's Peace: Discretely supporting mothers with burial, bereavement and remembrance programs and guiding families through difficult decisions in the immediate wake of loss
Held in Hope: Creates and distributes miscarriage boxes to equip and support women through their pregnancy loss
Heaven's Gain Ministries: Pregnancy loss support, caskets, urns, and memorial items
Elizabeth Ministry International: Parish resources for bereavement support and direct support to grieving families
Mommy to a Little Saint: Facebook group for Catholic Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
Lily of the Valley: Catholic lay ministry serving families experiencing infertility, difficult prenatal diagnosis, postnatal medical challenges, and those who have had a pregnancy or infant loss.
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep: Free remembrance photography for parents experiencing stillbirth or the loss of a baby
Funeral and Blessings:
Many people don't know that the Church offers special blessings and the possibility of a funeral after a miscarriage or stillbirth. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, "As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus' tenderness toward children which caused him to say: "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them," [Mk 10 14; cf. 1 Tim 2:4] allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism" (1261).
Speak with your priest to ask for the rite of blessing and/or a funeral Mass for your baby.
In the Order of Christian Funerals there are included “Funeral Rites for Children,” with adaptations offered in the case of a child who died before baptism. Canon 1183.2 of the Code of Canon Law gives the local bishop authority to permit children who died before baptism to receive a funeral in the Church with the adaptations.
Blessing of Parents after a Miscarriage or Stillbirth (official blessing from the USCCB)
Funeral Readings for Children who Died before Baptism From the Lectionary for Mass, nos. 1023-1026
Reading:
The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptised (from the CDF International Theological Commission of the Vatican)
Jellybean: A Baby's Journey to God (Use code MARY at Holy Heroes for 15% off.)
Nursery of Heaven: Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss In the Lives of the Saints and Today’s Parents (Use code MARY at Holy Heroes for 15% off.)
From Made for This Birth
Made for This: The Catholic Mom's Guide to Birth Because we recognize that miscarriage and stillbirth is still birth and those lives just as valuable, our book contains a full chapter on loss and grief that talks through some of your options and what the process might look like.
Scriptures for Miscarriage (Free PDF download)
The Life and Loss of Joseph Mary (Our own personal story of loss)